The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
