he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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