Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
