WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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