Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
