So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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