strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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