pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ugly people sure do ruin things
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
