You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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