Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
