Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
