one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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