he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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