the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
