I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
