Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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