Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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