i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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