new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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