idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
