yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MIDGETS
????
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
