maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
