at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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