porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
