Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
