So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
