would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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