The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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