forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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