I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
