My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
