I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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