I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
