I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
