Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
