peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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