its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
