I like my sex mixed with concussions.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
