Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
