We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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