hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
