is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
