Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
