I want to make a zoo with you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
