I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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