i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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