as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
