the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
