I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
