Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
