what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
