Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
