Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize