I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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