i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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