wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
