Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
