dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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