No awkward lesbian experiences without me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
