it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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