i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
