this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
