I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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