Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
